Should You Ask Couples to Complete a Wedding Ceremony Questionnaire?

During the beginning stages of building a wedding ceremony, there is a temptation to either jump right into writing the words you plan to say about the couple or to run through a questionnaire with your friends while sitting in a coffee shop together. It’s obvious why both sound so enticing — you may feel as though you know your friends (or family members) well enough that you don’t need to ask them any questions or if you do plan to ask questions, it may feel cozier to meet over drinks in order to listen in. The thing to do is actually a combination of these options with a slight twist.

First, you should ask your couple a series of questions (I’ll share more about why below!). Second, it’s actually best to ask questions in a document over email. The reason for this is the couple is able to carefully think about what they would like to share with you, plus you can read their thoughts at your leisure rather than fighting to listen and write simultaneously.

So, why is a questionnaire important and which questions should you definitely ask your couple? Let’s dive into both together below!

Why is it important to ask couples to complete a wedding ceremony questionnaire as a friend officiant?

A couple’s wedding ceremony is one of the most important and personal moments they, you, and their guests will experience on the couple’s wedding day. As a result, you want to make sure it’s completely tailored to them with all of the details they hope to share with their guests. Though the couple has asked you to officiate their wedding ceremony because you share a close relationship, it’s imperative to ensure you have all of your information correct. And, the best way to check is to ask questions! Now is not the time to guess, assume, or introduce surprises.

What are the top questions to ask as part of a wedding ceremony questionnaire as a friend officiant?

As part of the Wedding Ceremony Master Class, I share a helpful questionnaire you can ask your couple to complete. But I wanted to highlight a few of my favorite questions from the document and share more about why I find them helpful and valuable.

1. Why me?

You may have a distinct idea why the couple has asked you to officiate their wedding ceremony, but it never hurts to ask for confirmation! They may share anecdotes about a role you have played in their relationship that you can share during the wedding ceremony, or they may inspire other remarks you can make as you establish your credibility as an officiant at the beginning of the ceremony.

2. What does marriage mean to you?

Asking your couple what marriage means to them will likely lead them to share personal details about the relationship they share together and the journey they hope to take in the future as a married pair. Their answers may also reveal insight about important relationships they share with family and friends who inspire them.

3. What quirks do you have?

Personal details and a dash of personality are what make a wedding ceremony fun for guests to witness! Asking brides and grooms to share more about their quirks tends to lead to fun stories about moments they have shared with friends and family and hobbies and interests they love to pursue. Any of this information is excellent to share in a wedding ceremony because it shares more insight about them (keep in mind, guests often know one partner better than the other!).

4. What goals do you have individually and as a couple?

You may have ideas about what your friends or family members hope to accomplish and experience together in the future, but it’s always best not to assume or guess. Consider asking questions such as do you hope to have kids; where do you hope to travel together; where do you hope to reside; what have you already accomplished together that makes you proud? There’s so much to explore here!

The best time to send a questionnaire when planning a ceremony is as early as possible! Take a moment to review this section of the Wedding Ceremony Master Class. Then dive into learning more about your couple as you prepare to officiate their wedding ceremony.


Photos by Jessica Manns Photography of a Favorite Uncle officiating a wedding ceremony.